20.1.06

The Island (2005)

The Island (2005)

The Island begins with a brief discussion of the moral ramifications associated with cloning humans and harvesting them for their organs. A VERY brief discussion. And, after the infinitely complex bioethical questions are brushed to the side, shit blows up good, REAL good. I don't think I am even capable of fully portraying exactly how good shit blows up. All I can say is that, if it is in the movie, there's a good chance that it blows up.


But, even if shit blowing up isn't enough for you, this movie is still a winner. Or, more accurately, Scarlett Johansson is a winner and, therefore, the movie is a winner by association. At first, Ms. Johansson appeared to be a little funny looking. She isn't the conventional hot action movie girl, but she really grows on you, and by the end of the movie you'll be thinking, "DAMN that Scarlett Johansson is one hot piece of ass."


And now, just to solidify my point *cough cough* I will post some Scarlett Johansson pictures.





16.12.05

Lost - Season 1


Let me tell you a story about Lost. It is a tale about a funtastic band of merry men (and women) and all their wonderful misadventures. The good times begin with the good doctor waking up. He's in a bamboo forest, how marvelous. Unfortunately, this bamboo forest is on a mystery island. Where is the line drawn between a regular island and a mystery island you ask? Well, on this tropical island in question, there are polar bears and monsters and 'others' and a french women (I know, the french are weird) and a hatch and some drug smuggling priests from Nigeria and various other things. And, as if the island isn't hiding enough, all the characters have their own secrets, which are very, VERY gradually shown throughout long, drawn out episodes.

Now, let's talk about the characters, shall we?












JACK

This is Jack, the resident doctor. He's like some kind of Superman. Or was it Batman? Which was the one that could always fix anything? Either way, I'm sure it doesn't matter. Jack is the star of the show. There is nothing he can't do. While everyone else has secrets about them robbing or murdering everyone in sight, Jack's only secret is that he's too perfect. I know I'd be sad if I could do no wrong.












SHANNON

She's flakey, bitchy, slutty, and altogether useless. I know I'd want her on my island. And, judging by this picture, she's clearly hot. Just look at that sexy expression. I guess I should also mention that she fucked her brother in a flashback. Don't worry though, he's only her step brother. Or was it half brother? Which way would be less weird? Either way, she also fucks the brown guy next season. Oh yeah, and she dies in season 2 episode 6, but shhh, don't tell anyone. It's a secret.












SAYID

This is the token brown guy. Wait, are there even token brown guys? I guess if there were, this would be it. Or him. But you know what I mean. He was once a soldier, now he fixes things. His hobbies include torturing white guys and fucking white girls (next season, just have some patience). He sure did forget about his brown girl fast. Now that's what I call a quitter. Or a player? Hmmm, interesting.












JOHN

This is John Lock. He once was crippled, but not anymore. It really is a mystery island you see. Or maybe the magic was in John all along? Nah, who am I kidding? There's no magic in John. Hell, he only has one kidney and we all know that magic is produced in the kidney. Oh yeah, and in case you were wondering, his dad stole his kidney. I know everyone wishes that their dad loved them enough to steal their kidney.












JIN AND SUN

One is a guy and one is a girl. Also, one speaks english and the other does not. Other than that, they're about the same. They're both Korean and married (to each other, now what are the odds of that?). They're so similar, in fact, that they even have to share flashbacks.












SAWYER

This is the resident badass. He's everyone's archenemy. He steals things, kills things and I can only assume that he rapes and pillages things, but that's for the courts to decide. Like all of them, he had a rough past. He should go cry about it and often does.












KATE

Look at her muscley arms. Damn, that's quite a bicep. I bet she could take me.












HUGO

This is the best character. He's a big, fat mexican. He used to work at a fried chicken joint, then he won the lottery. Unfortunately, he won the lottery with cursed numbers, so he has bad luck forever. Obviously. Personally, I like when he runs. It's like Baywatch, kinda. His giant man boobs bounce everywhere. He should really get a sports bra before he throws his back out. And, really, Jack has enough problems without having to deal with a case of chronic back fat.












MICHAEL

This is Michael, aka, Sanford and son (according to Kyster and Amit). And, yes, he does have a son, named Walter. Either I couldn't find a picture of Walt, or I didn't want to. Either way works. They're both boring and stupid anyways.












CLAIRE

Damn I hate Australian accents. They sound like retarded Brits. Especially Claire. "CRIKEY! A BABY ATE MY DINGO!!!" Or was it that a dingo ate her baby? I'm sure it doesn't really matter as long as something is eating something else. But, every fucking time she opens her mouth I just want to beat her to death with her own baby. And, in case you were wondering, the baby's name is Aaron. So, to reiterate, when she says anything, I want to beat her to death with Aaron.












BOON

This is Boon, not to be mistaken with Pat Boone. Pat Boone, in fact, has nothing to do with this show. But, anyways, Boon dies near the end of the season, so don't get too attached. I told him not to go in that plane, and I told Jack that the blood transfusion wouldn't work. These fuckers really need to start listening to me.

The previous one-sided discussion about Lost contained some spoilers, so you probably shouldn't have read it if you haven't already watched the show.

Bye bye! =)

13.11.05

The Door

circa Thursday, November 10, 2005 23:30.

While returning home, from an invigorating Promotions and Advertising Committee meeting, Kyster and Ryan found it necessary to purchase some delicious chicken sangwiches from the local Subway eatery. With sangwich in hand, the world was their oyster. There was nothing that ccould stop them. Or, at least, almost nothing.

Upon arrival at their dwelling, Kyster drew his keys and penetrated the front door. But, in a strange twist of fate, nothing happened. The key, which had served him well for over a year, was of no use. No amount of twisting or prodding could convince the door to open. Being stupid, Ryan felt that he would have better luck with the lock. But even with his sweet, sweet door lovin' technique, the entranceway could not be cleared. The only other option was, the Amit.

With one fell knock at the basement window, the Amit signal was sent and received. Armed with short pants and kung-fu grip, the Amit sprinted into action like a young gazelle on the African savanna. Amit looked at the door. Kyster looked at the door. Ryan looked at the door. The door did not open. Using his quick wits and Kyster brand suggestions, the Amit phoned Changbao Shen, the landlord. But, alas, Changbao was m.i.a., and his wife, Mrs. Changbao, was the only person available to take Amit's call. There is usually nothing wrong with discussing a predicament with Mrs. Changbao, but her no speaky english does not help greatly.

With the harsh reality that neither Changbao nor Spider-Man would be available for assistance, it was up to the Amit, the Ryan, and the Kyster to open the unopenable. Kyster, while consuming his delicious chicken sangwich, yelled out instructions through the less than soundproof door. Amit, heeding to the words of wisdom fetched a knife that was to be used as some type of lock fiddling device. Unfortunately, willing a lock open with a knife is not a skill that is obtained easily. And, to further complicate the situation, the doorknob was constructed in such a way that it was near impossible to remove, even from the inside. With a plethora of tools obtained from Ryan and Kyster's Discount Tool Emporium, the Amit began caressing the door hinges with long, powerful strokes of the hammer.

Amit's noisy door love was enough to draw some attention from other residents of the house. Enter the Kiran. Shocked and confused, Kiran arrived to see Ryan and Kyster standing outside, in the nippy Thursday night, while Amit continued willing the door hinges apart with all his might. After briefing Kiran on the state of the situation, he sprung into action with all the assistance he could muster. Using hands, teeth, feet, hammers, pliers, screwdrivers, and anything else within arms reach, the door hinges were finally breached.

At this precise moment, an autocar pulled onto the driveway. Enter Changbao's wife and brother in law, who, for convenience purposes, will be referred to as Wong. Not knowing what to do, Mrs. Changbao decided to obtain her brother for assisting purposes. Clearly Wong would be more useful than a locksmith, with his years of asian training.

Believing that Ryan and Kyster must not have tried their keys on the impenetrable door and were, in fact, standing outside for their own amusement, Wong inserted his key into the lock and jiggled it furiously. To his surprise, the door did not open. Apparently Amit, Kyster, Ryan, and Kiran were not all consumed by a collective madness. What a relief. But this still did not progressing anyone to the insides of the living establishment.

Even with the hinges severed, the door would not move. Its powers were too great. Simple force was not enough to clear the beast that was blocking the way. With physics in mind, an object to pry the door open with was searched for, but to no avail. There was, seemingly, nothing that could be done to coax the door open. In a final attempt to salvage the night, Kiran began poking and prodding the lock wildly with a screwdriver.

Fed up with the cold and waiting, Kyster figured that it was time to enter the building by other means. Through his bedroom window he slid. He then traversed up to where his skills could best be used, but, at this instant, to everyone's stupefaction, Kiran struck gold. Hitting the door's elusive grafenberg's spot, it burst open with joy. After approximately two hours of absolute bliss, everyone was finally let into the warm belly of the home.

The next morning, Changbao arrived to change the lock, ensuring that there would be no sequel to this story.

The Door - Teaser


What would you do....... if the door couldn't open? dum dum dum

12.11.05

Rogers


Rogers is retarded.

Now, you may be wondering how I can make such a bold claim, so let me delve deep into my reasoning. I will begin by restating that Rogers is retarded, which leads directly into the first potential problem. If Rogers is a company, or, more accurately, a diversified Canadian communications and media empire, how can it be retarded? By definition, a company is a business enterprise. Clearly a business enterprise does not possess the ability to be retarded, therefore, something buried deep within the dark recesses of the enterprise must contribute to the retarded state of the company.

By peering into every crevice, cleft, and fissure that Rogers has to offer, it is easy to see that the defining element of the company is not the services provided, but those who provide the services. Rogers, and every other company, is only as good as the people whose skills are displayed on a daily basis. Or lack of skills, in the case of Rogers. This morning, a less than helpful Rogers employee explained to me that I have missed the payments on my wireless account, which they have accidentally put under a different name despite the fact that I signed up using two pieces of my ID and my credit card. Furthermore, I cannot access the account to pay the bills or change the client name because my name is not associated with the account. I have to pay the bills accumulating on my account without having access to the account or any billing information. I have to pay for the account that is not mine? Or is it that I have to pay for my account, which is nonexistant? I cannot see how this makes sense to them. It would take a special type of mind to wrap itself around this paradoxical adventure which defies the very space time continuum that defines reality.

Believing that this concept of incoherent billing could not possibly be standard Rogers procedure, I decided to discuss the situation with the employees located within different buroughs of the company. They all agreed that this billing problem was, without a doubt, my fault. They all stood against me, united by their backwards thinking and retarded states of mind. Each and every person I encountered within the Rogers family was retarded. And, therefore, I can safely say that Rogers, which is defined by its employees, is retarded.

Love,
Ryan

7.11.05

Jarhead (2005)

Jarhead (2005)

"You will train, you will hydrate, and you will maintain a constant state of suspicious alertness..."

This is a film about being bored, lonely, and mentally unstable in the deserts of Kuwait. A team of marine scout snipers await the chance to prove themselves during Operation: Desert Storm.

Director Sam Mendes captures the pain of his characters too well. You can almost feel their boredom and loneliness. Unfortunately, I'm not sure if this is a compliment or a complaint. Boredom is not a feeling that is usually associated with quality films. But, either way, the movie looks amazing. The fires of Kuwait are a visual masterpiece.

"Welcome to the suck."

Rating: Oorah

3.11.05

Saw II (2005)

Saw II (2005)

I won't lie, this movie is kind of violent. But the camera is so erratic that one can barely see the violence. Maybe this had to be done in order to get a decent MPAA rating. Or maybe the director had tourette's syndrome. I guess we'll never know for sure.

This film offers the same idea as the prequel, but expands it into an incoherent mess. The traps presented within the film are neither clever nor do they prove any real point. In fact, some of the traps aren't even explained. Furthermore, some of the "victims" don't even have to face traps. Maybe this is a social commentary pointing out how we are our own greatest traps? Or maybe not.

The only saving grace for this movie is Donnie Wahlberg. He's no Marky Mark, but he's still a formidable Wahlberg. If I couldn't be just like Marky Mark, I'd want to be just like Donnie. Despite not having my own Funky Bunch, I feel that I would still be able to lead a full and moderately successful life. Assuming that this film can be considered as success. Although, at the end of the day, I'm the one complaining about this movie on my BLOG while Donnie is probably fucking Marky Mark's leftover whores on the spillover money from Marky Mark's piles of cash.

Kudos Donnie, you've won this round.

Rating: Funky Bunches of Oats

Woosh


Preach on brotha, preach on.

Ma Tree Update

Now cracks a noble heart. Good night, sweet prince,
And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest!

2.11.05

Ma Tree


I gots t' get ma tree fed.

25.10.05

Monkey + Coconut + WISU = Holy Trinity


The new WISU logo. Enjoy.

19.10.05

Beer


I can relate...

11.10.05

Digital Art History

The year was approximately 1999 and I, Ryan Jugdeo, obtained my first computer. With this computer, and my natural love for art, I began creating desktop wallpapers. A few of them are decent pieces of art. Most of them are unbearably shitty in every sense. And, all of them are made completely with Adobe Photoshop by the one and only ryJuice.


In the beginning of my computer times, I loved anime. I especially loved the anime show known as Cowboy Bebop (1998), which is a sci-fi western involving a good amount of both cowboys and bebops. To make a wallpaper that truly embodied the show, I combined all of my brilliant techniques, such as cutting and pasting. I cut out random Cowboy Bebop pictures and pasted them on top of each other. I then added random quotes because that's what I do best.

After completing the wallpaper, I submitted it to DeviantArt to see what my fellow artists thought of my work. They all agreed that it was cluttered and confusing. At the time, I didn't understand because I was under the impression that more is better, but now I know better.

Several years later, I was downloading wallpapers from Kazaa, which was the program to use at the time, and, to my surprise many people had, and were sharing, my Cowboy Bebop wallpaper. It made me feel all warm and tingly inside. I later found out that it was an ulcer.


Kenshin (1996), another anime show that I enjoyed, was the subject matter of my second attempt at a wallpaper. I had started this wallpaper shortly after completing my Cowboy Bebop wallpaper. I was going for the same style, but with a different anime show. Unfortunately, poor reviews for my first wallpaper and a short attention span lead to this wallpaper never being completed. I'm sure it wasn't going anywhere anyways.


Being the retard that I am, I figured that the subject matter, instead of the style, was the problem with my first two wallpapers. Taking the same technique, I began making a Christy Turlington wallpaper. I cut out pictures of her from Calvin Klein underwear ads and pasted them together. Soon after the onset of this wallpaper adventure, I realized that the style was actually the problem. If Ms. Turlington can't make it work, then nobody can. Needless to say, this wallpaper was left incomplete.


For my next endeavor, I was going to make another wallpaper based on an attractive female. But, while browsing DeviantArt, I noticed that everyone on the site would constantly complain about the wallpapers featuring models. I also noticed that these DeviantArt people would salivate over the stupidest attempt at "real art."

With this in mind, I made my Life wallpaper. Realistically, it is a circle, a triangle, and a square. There is nothing more to it. It's stupid. I know it's stupid, you know it's stupid, but, for some unknown reason, the retards on DeviantArt loved it. Whatever my point was, I believe that I proved it beyond a shadow of a doubt.


Getting back to my serious wallpapering, I made my Alley Cat desktop wallpaper. This piece of work features one of everyone's favourite playmates, Alley Baggett. I had a picture of her looking sexy, as always, and a picture of a tiger. I felt that the only reasonable option would be to combine the two. So I did. And it was good. I set everything to shades of a bluish green colour to create some kind of connection between Alley and the tiger. The only problem with this wallpaper is that Alley's nipple seems to have made an appearance. Normally, I'd be all for this, but, unfortunately it prevented me from ever using it as the wallpaper on my, at the time, family friendly computer.


For my next wallpaper, I attempted to make something that I would have actually been able to use at the time. Using all my skill and cunning, I "borrowed" a picture of a Honda NSX, which is the japanese version of the Acura NSX, from the friendly neighbourhood internet and stretched it to the size of a desktop wallpaper. In an attempt to counteract the low quality of the image, I clicked on one of Adobe Photoshop's default filters. Done and done.


Feeling that if I take the original picture myself, I would be able to stretch and filter it and call it art. Therefore, I took a screenshot from a movie called Legend of the Drunken Master (1994). I then stretched and filtered it. And, no, this is not art.


The picture is from Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels (1998). Against my better judgement, I used the same technique again. Yes, I am stupid. And, no, this is not art either.


Following the failure that was every other wallpaper I had ever made, I felt that I needed to make one entirely from scratch. I started making a design in shades of green. It resembled a military camouflage pattern. After a while, I noticed that it was taking forever and looking like shit. Out of frustration, I took the smudge tool and ravaged the wallpaper. Oddly enough, the swirly design that I ended up with didn't look too bad. Therefore, to salvage the project, I added some borders and text. I called the wallpaper An Enigma because that is the name I was using on ICQ at the time. Remember ICQ? Also, this wallpaper is just confusing in general. But, let me assure you, it means nothing.


Going back to my original technique of putting pictures over other pictures and calling them wallpapers, I took some pictures and put them over another picture and called it a wallpaper. I started with a picture of a girl standing in water, which was already a wallpaper, then I put a low resolution dragon over top and some asian character. I don't know why I did this. I guess I thought that the original picture had an asian feel to it and took it upon myself to make it even more asian. This went wrong, but not terribly wrong. Unfortunately, I have no idea what the asian text says. I don't even know what language it's supposed to be.


I used some kind of filter on the previous wallpaper. It made it all metal-like or something. I then added a lens flare. I was under the impression that a lens flare could make anything better. I was wrong.


Here we have my Monica Bellucci wallpaper. For some unknown reason I felt that Monica Bellucci and a dragon would go together. Then, in an even more baffling move, I made the entire wallpaper a sort of lavender colour. I guess I'm just that gay. Although Monica Bellucci is naked, so I guess I can't be that gay. This wallpaper truly is a paradox. But, I must say, I do like it.

In fact, I liked this wallpaper so much, that I decided to use it as my desktop wallpaper. Of course, this may not have been a great idea while I was living with my parents who were always wandering around the house. One day, I stepped out of my room for a moment and my dad took this as an invitation to vaccuum my computer for no apparent reason. As he touched the mouse, my computer came out of sleep mode and there, on the screen, was a picture of Monica Bellucci holding her, very nice, chest. My dad then called my mom to "LOOK AT THE TINGS YOUR SON IS LOOKING AT!!!!" Ah, good ol' overreacting parents. I guess that taught me to not use a wallpaper with a naked girl, even if nothing can be seen.


This wallpaper is the beginning of my grunge phase. Crista Nicole, who is a quality playmate, is featured on this wallpaper. I feel that I did a good job of combining the Crista pictures and giving the entire wallpaper a grunge feel. I should thank Mark for the entire grunge era because he provided me with the necessary Photoshop filters and brushes to make it all possible.


Being the idiot that I am, I took my relatively good Crista Nicole wallpaper and made it stupid. I added another picture of her face simply to make the entire wallpaper more cluttered and then I wrote out the words to a poem. I did not write the poem. I believe that it is by Edgar Allen Poe. Yes, I combined Playboy and Poe. I truly am an artist.


A picture of Kyster's guitar, which was taken by Kyster, is the inspiration behind this wallpaper. Seeing as Michelle Branch plays the guitar, she was the natural choice to accompany the picture of a guitar. Using the grunge style, which I thoroughly enjoy, I feel that I made a quality piece of wallpaper here.


Just to make the wallpaper less attractive and much more cluttered, I added the lyrics to one of Michelle Branches songs. If I were a reasonable person, I would have realized that there are too many words in a song to put them all on a wallpaper.


This is another wallpaper that was inspired by a picture taken by Kyster. This time around, Kyster made some origami butterflies and took a picture of them. He then sent me the picture and I decided to make a wallpaper out of it. For no reason at all, I added a face, some random lines, and a quote from Poe to the wallpaper. I feel that I ended up with a moderately acceptable wallpaper. Although, the origami butterflies were probably much more impressive than the wallpaper that was made from them.


This was my final attempt at a grunge wallpaper. I took the Toyota Supra, which is my favourite autocar, and made, what I believe to be, a very good wallpaper. Although, I may be biased because I like grunge wallpapers and Supras. Unfortunately, after the completion of this wallpaper, my computer had some major problems. I lost all the filters and brushes that made grunge possible. Oh well, I guess it was time to move on anyways.


After taking a hiatus from wallpapering for many years, I made a silly attempt at a comeback. I drew a picture of Mugen, who is a character from Samurai Champloo (2004), on MSN Messenger during a conversation with Amit. I then made the window fullscreen and took a screenshot. I'm sure I can consider this as some type of pseudo experimental art. It's like a snapshot from life because my life mainly consists of drawing pictures on Messenger.


One day, Dev sent me a Need for Speed Underground 2 wallpaper that he was making. He said that he was making it for some wallpaper making competition based on the game. Dev had taken a picture of an existing car from the game and changed the colour of the car very convincingly. I felt that I could do one better by drawing a completely original picture in Photoshop. I was off to a great start as I selected dimensions that couldn't possibly fit any desktop. I followed this up by using only the shape tool and the pencil tool. Yes, most of this is drawn freehand in Photoshop. I know you're impressed.

I feel that I truly captured what it means to play this game. In fact, I may have captured all of street racing in this one brilliant wallpaper. Normally, I don't appreciate my own work very much, but I can safely say that this is, without a doubt, the greatest piece of artwork ever made in the history of the universe.


Claiming that my last wallpaper was vector art, I liked to believe that I had a new love for vector art. Therefore, I got to work on my most epic project to date. This was a vector art picture of me. This was, and will always be, the vectorJUICE. I took a digital photograph of myself and began vectoring it up. I drew the entire picture with the line tool in Photoshop. I'm sure there's an easier way to make vector art, but this is my technique and I feel that it worked well enough. After completing the picture of me, I didn't want to leave the background blank, but I knew that I needed to use solid colours. So, doing what any Guyanese person would do, I put the Guyanese flag in the background.


Noticing that there was a flaw in the colour on my neck in the original picture, I had to release a redux version of the vectorJUICE. Other than the slight colour change on the neck, nothing else was changed.


I realized that I'm not nearly as dark as the original vectorJUICE or the redux would imply, I was forced to make a second redux. This time, the vectorJUICE has a skin tone that is much closer to my actual skin tone.

Since the vectorJUICE, I have not worked on any digital art. I would say that it is a combination of a lack of time and a lack of inspiration, but, considering I had the time to make this incredibly long post in my weblog, I guess it is just a lack of inspiration that is keeping me from wallpapering more. One day, I may return, and I will wallpaper every desktop on the planet!

30.9.05

Twista - The Day After

Twista - The Day After
(October 4, 2005)
Atlantic/Wea

Twista is very large and jumbly. If he weren't so angry looking, I would want to jiggle him. Okay, fine, I still want to jiggle him. But, aside from his amusing flabs, Twista is also a dynamic rapper. He always manages to string together real words into coherent sentences at a breakneck speed.

I would like to reminisce about his previous album before jumping into this review, but, oddly enough, I can't seem to remember anything about his last effort. Either that album was not good at all or it was so good that it blew my mind. And, as we all know, blown minds never remember well. That's a scientific fact. Therefore, saying that I hope this album will be better than his last one means absolutely nothing.

So, with that being said, let's begin our Twista adventure.

01. The Day After - Apparently Twista went kamikaze. I'm not sure if it's just me, but I don't get this introduction. Fortunately, the song, which follows the brief intro, is very good. Twista and Syleena Johnson work surprisingly well together. He raps, she sings, together they are unstoppable.

02. Check That Hoe - It would seem that this time he's going to show me how to check that hoe. Which hoe? I'm not entirely sure. I guess I should check all the hoes, just to be safe.

03. Chocolate Fe's And Redbones - I don't know what chocolate fe's or redbones are. Are those names? Should I capitalize them? These are just a couple of many questions that were left unanswered by this song.

04. Get It How You Live - This song is delicious. It's sort of salty with a hint of tang.

05. Lavish - This song features my bestest buddy Pharell. He sings the hook. I hope that I can sing as well as him one day. But, other than that, the beat is good, the rapping is good. Therefore, by default, the song is good.

06. Girl Tonite - I don't like Trey Songz. Trey Songz is on this song. I don't like this song.

07. Do Wrong - Lil' Kim somehow manages to keep pace with Twista on this song. It is probably one of her best rapping performances. It kind of leads me to wonder why she doesn't rap this well on most of her own songs. Maybe Twista beat her until she started rapping better? Twista seems like the kind of guy who beats people.

08. Heartbeat - This beat is slow and tedious. It makes me want to punch babies.

09. Holding Down The Game - I thought I was in charge of holding down the game?

10. When I Get You Home (A.I.O.U.) - Jamie Foxx is all over this song. His hook kind of makes me wish that I was listening to a Jamie Foxx album instead of this one. His hook also makes me wonder why he doesn't already have an album or if he will have one in the near future. Here's hoping.

11. So Lonely - Twista and Mariah Carey make a great duo. It would seem that the key to a quality Twista song is to get any decent R&B singer for the hook and Twista will hold down the rest of the song. He may also hold down the game.

12. Had To Call - Sleepy Eyed Jones and Snoop Dogg seem to have found their way onto this track. This song isn't great and I don't know who Sleepy Eyed Jones is, but Snoop Dogg's presence makes this track good enough.

13. Out Here - This track features Juvenile and Speedknot Mobstaz. I don't know who or what Speedknot Mobstaz are. But, this song is all around shit anyways, so we'll just ignore it completely.

14. I'm A Winner - This song is very rambunctious.

15. Hit The Floor - This song features Pitbull, which can only mean one thing. Reggaeton! This is my favourite song off of the album. It is energetic, weird, exciting, rough and moderately chewy. And, as a bonus, Pitbull is as classy as ever with lyrics such as, "She don't like bacon? Cool, I'll give her sausage."

I was amused by this album, but I fear that it will share the same fate as Twista's previous album. Some of the songs were either decent or good and a few of the songs were even very good. But, unfortunately, most of the album was fairly forgettable. Even the good and decent songs were quickly forgotten after listening to them. The only song that sticks in my mind is the one with Pitbull, but that may be due to my unholy love for reggaeton. I don't even speak spanish. Why do I love it so much?

Overall, this album is definitely moderately acceptable on every level. Enjoy.

Rating: Potato Flavoured Ice Cream